Personal Ad Translator!!
CODE WORD..... | MEANS: | ||
40-ish | 48 | ||
Adventurous | Has had more partners than you ever will | ||
Affectionate | Possessive | ||
Artist | Unreliable | ||
Athletic | Flat chested | ||
Average looking | Ugly | ||
Beautiful | Pathological liar | ||
Commitment-minded | Pick out curtains, now! | ||
Communication important | Just try to get a word in edge-wise | ||
Contagious Smile | Bring your penicillin | ||
Educated | College dropout | ||
Emotionally Secure | Medicated | ||
Employed | Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home | ||
Enjoys art and opera | Snob | ||
Enjoys Nature | Bring your own granola | ||
Exotic Beauty | Would frighten a Martian | ||
Feminist | Fat; ball buster | ||
Financially Secure | One paycheck from the street | ||
Free spirit | Substance user | ||
Friendship first | Trying to live down reputation as slut | ||
Fun | Annoying | ||
Gentle | Comatose | ||
Good Listener | Borderline Autistic | ||
Humorous | Caustic | ||
Intuitive | Your opinion doesn't count | ||
In Transition | Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills | ||
Light drinker | Lush | ||
Looks younger | If viewed from far away in bad light | ||
Loves Travel | If you're paying | ||
Loves Animals | Cat lady | ||
Mature | Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did | ||
New-Age | All body hair, all the time | ||
Non-traditional | Ex-husband lives in the basement | ||
Old-fashioned | Lights out, missionary position only | ||
Open-minded | Desperate | ||
Outgoing | Loud | ||
Passionate | Loud | ||
Petite | Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins | ||
Poet | Depressive Schizophrenic | ||
Professional | Bitch | ||
Redhead | Shops on the Clairol aisle | ||
Reliable | Frumpy | ||
Reubenesque | Grossly Fat | ||
Romantic | Looks better by candle light | ||
Self-employed | Jobless | ||
Smart | Insipid | ||
Special | Rode the short school bus | ||
Spiritual | Involved with a cult | ||
Stable | Boring | ||
Tall, thin | Anorexic | ||
Tan | Wrinkled | ||
Voluptuous | Very Fat | ||
Weight proportional to height | Hugely Fat | ||
Wants Soulmate | One step away from stalking | ||
Widow | Nagged first husband to death | ||
Writer | Pompous | ||
Young at heart | Toothless crone | ||
Sooo, where's the male side of that list? Here, I'll give you a start: | |||
CODE WORD.. | MEANS... | ||
40-ish | 52 and looking for 25-yr-old | ||
Affectionate | Needy and looking for mother-figure | ||
Artist | Delicate ego badly in need of massage | ||
Athletic | Sits on the couch and watches ESPN | ||
Average looking | Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back | ||
Distinguished-looking | Fat, grey, and bald | ||
Educated | Will always treat you like an idiot | ||
Employed | On management track at Radio Shack | ||
Free Spirit | Sleeps with your sister | ||
Friendship first | As long as friendship involves nudity | ||
Fun | Good with a remote and a six pack | ||
Good looking | Arrogant bastard | ||
Honest | Pathological Liar | ||
Huggable | Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben | ||
ISO Slim, attractive female | Would be better off with a labrador retriever | ||
Light drinker | Headed for AA | ||
Like to cuddle | Insecure, overly dependent | ||
Like romantic walks on the beach | I read Cosmo and think this is what you want to hear | ||
Mature | Until you get to know him | ||
Happy Valentines Day!!! ;D
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